A Possible Solution

So ...if the files I want to work aren't working any more, what do I do?

I start thinking.  Now, when I'm think, it's not your garden variety "thinking".  It's much more than a meta-analysis of what happened.

I started at the beginning, which is always a good place to start.  What was contained in that first Jock file -- TrainTotalJock (TTJ) -- that got its hooks in me so deeply after one listening?  Well, after listening to the file for so many times -- it was the only file of its kind that I knew about for about a year -- so I could more or less break it down int it's component parts.

There was the "you love to look the part" suggestions.  Although I bought an occasional tee-shirt and jeans, that wasn't a major hook for me.  I had quit going to church and didn't have any great desire to be a fashion plate with such extremely limited areas to show it off.  Show up at eh local part-time gay bar in Armani?  I don't think that was the dress code ... and I was not going to spend my limited cash to get leather gear.  Besides, I don't drink ... which would have made me popular at college as a "designated drive" ... if I knew how to drive.  (My epilepsy prevented me from learning how to drive: I had to prove I had been seizure-free for one year before I apply for a Learner's Permit.)

The going out on the town to pick up total strangers for sex was anathema to my personality.  I want to know much more about my "conquests" than their bra size -- in my case, that would be need to be cock size; I'm gay and this file never said anything about changing sexual orientation.  (One file -- TTJ2, which EMG nicknamed "Train Fratboy" contained five minutes of suggestions of going out to party and being able to pick up any (female) because you are so damned hot and sexy.  This is definitely NOT MY STYLE.  I'm not into getting someone drunk, taking them back to someone's place, and raping a boozed-up unconscious female.  I'm not that kind of dude.

Somebody re-mastered TTJ2 for gay guys (and straight guys with morals) by removing that specific five minutes of suggestions.  They labeled the file with the obnoxious material removed TTJ2-NoStr8.  Everybody knew what that "-NoStr8" meant:  the undesirable material as gone.

Then there were the "play sports" and "watch sports" suggestions.  Well, I watched some sports, but I was never a rabid fan of any of them.  I never developed a desire to play any sport or lift weights, or even attend local sporing events, like the local hockey team or the high school wrestling teams.
So that was a bust.

Now we're getting down to some throwaway phrases that were inserted as filler.  EMG only mentioned "getting dumber" in one phrase of one sentence.  The sentence goers something like this:  If you want, your intelligence will decrease as your strength increases."  Fine, if that is the answer, then why do I want my intelligence to decrease?  What are the "being dumb" benefits that my subconscious sees that I have no clue exist?

(to be continued...)

"All I Want For Christmas Is You" MUSIC VIDEO - Steve Grand

Problems .. Now what?

Greetings.

A lot has happened since my last post.

Mom died.  I moved, downsizing from a four-bedroom house to a one-bedroom apartment.  (I like apartment living.  I don't have to worry how I'm going to fix something when it breaks, or shovel snow, or mow the grass, or rake leaves.)

I found that the Jock files I had used to such good effect earlier no longer had any effect on me.  After some experimentation, I concluded that I was not having problems with hypnosis in general -- I was still as susceptible and suggestible as ever to most hypnotic suggestions -- nor did I have a problem with any specific hypnotist.  My problem was solely with some of the suggestions in most jock files. I discovered that my subconscious had problems with some of the uber-masculine commands that are normally included in typical jock files, like: go out every night to drink, party, and fuck somebody, go home, crash, and repeat at least once a day.

No, it's not put quite that crudely as that in the files ... but it's implied.  Apparently my subconscious is somewhat of a prude.  Dad owned a bar/restaurant.  When I grew up, we ate supper together; what we did that day was part of our typical conversation.  I got to hear lots of stories from Dad about the dumb assholes who got drunk and belligerent and were escorted away in handcuffs by the police.  Other times, drunks got to spend their nights in the hospital because they couldn't handle their liquor and insisted on fighting some innocent party who could defend himself.  Some idiots tried to harm themselves ... or others.  Dda refused to have anything to do with them.  He was trying to run a decent place where women could come in and get something to eat or drink and not be harassed. He succeeded.  He had a reputation: you didn't bring drugs (or your troubles) into his bar.  If you couldn't behave, you weren't wanted.

Dad refused to serve some people.  They always wanted to fight ... or dealt drugs ... or tried to smash up the bar ....  There was always a good, reasonable, reason for Dad refusing to serve someone.  It wasn't arbitrary.  But apparently my subconscious was insisting that I be a reasonable, non-drinking, non-belligerent type of jock.  And since macho was always a part of these files, my subconscious decided to ignore all of the suggestions in that type of file.

So ... what the fuck am I gong to do?  My motivation is crap.  I want to want to workout.  (No, that is not a typo.)  I want to have the motivation to work out.  But I never learned how to workout.  I was forbidden to take Phys Ed.  I was "excused" from having to learn to work out due to having grand mal and petit mal epilepsy seizures.  Hell, I never even knew where the fucking gym was.

I never knew what I missed with Phys Ed.  It might have been torture for me; I was your ordinary super-intelligent 98-pound weakling glasses-wearing genius nerd (and yes, I did have a pocket protector) who had read the dictionary and a good set of encyclopedias at an early age because I was bored one summer.  I have a gift: an extremely retentive memory.  If I've ever read something, I can (at minimum) tell you the basic concepts.  I may be able to quote the actual pages of text if I was sufficiently interested ... or tell you the page number of what I quoted to you.  Genius?  Yes.  I have an IQ of at least 160.  (Mensa meetings are as boring as every other meeting I've ever been to.  The parties, when everyone unbent, were fun.)

I'm great at theory.  Putting theory into practice is the hard part.  I can tell you how to fix your sink ... but hand me a wrench and I'm all thumbs.  I'm Mr. Can't-Fix-It.  Plumbers and electricians and roofers love me.  Klutzes like me keep them in business.  I'm the total opposite of my Dad, who could fix anything with a pen, a paper clip, some shoe polish, and a roll of electrician's tape.  Dad could out-MacGuyver MacGuyver.

So what do I do?

Well ...

(to be continued)

More IM on becoming a Dumb Jock

Once again, this is an IM that has given me inspiration concerning my dream to become a jock.  Spelling is corrected mostly because I hate having a spell checker tell me it's wrong.

This IM took place on Monday, May 31, 2010 [Memorial Day].  Warning: this is long.

T2:  Hey dude, I got some more info on what was done to Jason. 
T2:  It is so simple I can't figure out how to do it.
Ox:  Hi, dude.
T2:  I got some more info on Jason's reprogramming.
Ox:  Tell, tell ... *lust* *lust*
T2:  The concept is so simple.
Ox:  The concept is simple but the execution is hard?
T2:  He is not dumb at all.
Ox:  It's an act?
T2:  No, it's not an act.  He has a small list of things that require his immediate attention -- all the time.
T2:  To all intents and purposes he is dumb as cum.
Ox:  He can only focus on certain things?
T2:  Because he now has only simple needs.
T2:  You know, something like eat, sex, drink.  Each one is set at a high level of priority.
T2:  So he is trapped servicing these simple needs all the time.
Ox:  And all other needs are excluded from needs?
T2:  Yes.
Ox:  Fuck, that's brilliant!
T2:  It's training and hypnosis and brainwashing.
T2:  He can't read because it takes away from his needs.
T2:  Driving is almost too much multitasking for him to handle.
T2:  It's sort of like a PC running at 99 % of capacity.
T2:  So he can't hold both driving and the destination in his mind at the same time.
T2:  It is so kewl!
T2:  And he's in a blissful state.
T2:  It is brilliant and all his mind is used up.
Ox:  Let's see ... the list includes eating, sleeping, working out, buying groceries, and maybe paying bills.
T2:  No, he is now a mooch.
Ox:  Totally focused on what matters to him and no extra brainpower to use on other things.
T2:  Yes.
T2:  No apartment; he just doesn't worry about it.
T2:  Wow.
Ox:  Damn, that's so fucking simple.
Ox:  Wow!
Ox:  I'm impressed!
T2:  So am I and he seems so happy.
T2:  So happy.
T2:  So stupid and dull and focused and happy.
Ox:  Of course he is.  There's no extra brainpower to devote to worrying.
T2:  Yep.
Ox:  I want it.
T2:  Me too.
T2:  It also means in emergencies he can be smart.
Ox:  Ahhh?  Great!
T2:  And then automatically become dumb again.
Ox:  In an emergency he can devote everything to the emergency? 
Ox:  Like a Mom who lifts a car off her kid, but she couldn't do that normally?
T2:  Yep.
Ox:  Just in the emergency?
T2:  Yep.
Ox:  So, there has to be some sort of monitor in his head saying an emergency exists?
T2:  No, it's built into the hardware.
T2:  That is the beauty of it.
T2:  Emergencies make you drop everything.
Ox:  So I guess you are smart till the emergency is over ...
Ox:  ... and then you are dumb again?
T2:  Yep.
T2:  Jason is a bit too much of a party boi for my taste.
T2:  But, hey, I'll take it.
T2:  Then you go meet your need and go party or whatever.
Ox:  Now the big question:  who did it?
T2:  A farmer type ...
Ox:  ... and I detest gardening....
T2:  ... with a Ph.D in brain chemistry.
T2:  Vermont is strange.
Ox:  Did he use any of his brain chemistry knowledge to help cause the change?
T2:  I have no way of knowing since I have not talked to him.
T2:  I am afraid that if this was offered to me I'd take it.
Ox:  So would I and I''m not afraid.
T2:  Right....
T2:  You'd become one of the dumb asses who picked on you in school.
Ox:  Yes !!!  When can we start?
T2:  I have no idea.
Ox:  How can we start?
T2:  I need to find out the particulars.
Ox:  Sounds like some simple hypnosis programming.
T2:  It helped that Jason was on the verge of a nervous breakdown ... I think.
Ox:  I can sympathize.  I went through the same thing when i was taking care of Mom 24/7 ...
Ox:  ... before she was admitted to a personal care home with Alzheimers' 
Ox:  I became a mental and physical wreck taking care of her 24/7 for a few years ... with no time off.
T2:  Jason essentially agreed to become this guy's slave for two years.
Ox:  Hmmm ... slavery is good for something after all.  :-D
T2:  Jason went in a brilliant money manager and came out a painfully slow stupid snowboarder boi.
T2:  It's so kewl!
T2:  He was at the end of his rope.  It is a way of committing suicide without killing yourself.
Ox:  It can't be painful.
T2:  It sure could be.
Ox:  There's not enough brain cells left for him to process pain.
 T2:  No, but it's painful to the rest of us.
T2:  You must have met someone so stupid or self absorbed that people around him visibly lost IQ points ...
Ox:  The fact that he lost them is all that counts.
T2:  He is happy ...
T2:  ... or at least think he is.
Ox:  As I said, that's all that counts.
T2:  He will never accomplish anything ...
T2:  ... never own anything ....
Ox:  In this case, perception = reality.
T2:  He can't think.
Ox:  Since he can't think, he's happy and content.
T2:  No time left for anything except party, mooch, muscles, and so on.
Ox:  And sex.
T2:  Sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll, dude.
Ox:  Damn, this is making me horny.  Correction:  Damn, I'm horny.
T2:  Geesh, I talked to him last night and I started to talk like him, dude.
T2:  He is contagious.
Ox:  Being around him dumbed you down?
T2:  Well, sort of.
T2:  It is so nice to find someone who is happy.
Ox:  Yeah.  My ambition in life is to be dumb and happy.
Ox:  Does he smoke?
T2:  Geesh, you and your smoking fetish.
T2:  Would you mind if you ended up stupid and not smoking?
Ox:  Well, smoking Marlboros is my only really bad habit and I worked hard to get addicted.
Ox:  I'd rather be stupid and smoking.
T2:  You need a cigar fetish.
Ox:  Cigars are too expensive ... at least the good ones ...
T2:  Then I could not stand to be around you.
Ox:  ... even at internet discount sites.   [ for example:  http://www.thompsoncigars.com/ ]
Ox:  one bundle of cigars [normally 20] = one carton of cigarettes [200 total]  [about $ 50.00 each]
T2:  I am a little worried that the Ph.D farmer took pity on him and did this all on the fly ...
T2:  ... and it can't be easily reproduced.
Ox:  Why not?
T2:  You know chefs; some of them just toss things together ...
T2:  ... and they sometimes come out with a dish that they can't reproduce even though they want to.
T2:  It may have been for Jason's own good.
Ox:  Damn, I want this so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T2:  You'd love Jason and be totally frustrated by him.
Ox:  Why?
T2:  He can't keep appointments.
Ox:  I'm normally late for my appointments, anyway.
T2:  I don';t think he's capable of reading.
Ox:  Well, I won't be either when this happens to me.
T2:  He literally gets a headache trying to read.
Ox:  Is he a top or a bottom?
T2:  An aggressive top, I believe.
Ox:  Wonderful!  I'm a bottom!
T2:  So am I.
Ox:  *sigh*  So is everybody else I know.
T2:  Everybody wants to be owned, controlled, and be dumb.
T2:  Jason isn't.
Ox:  He wants to own, control, and is dumb?
T2:  No, he just wants what he wants when he wants it and can't be bothered to be controlled.
Ox:  Let me think ... there has to be a way to reproduce this.
T2:  Geesh, dude ... he was a top level money manager.  Think about it.
T2:  He was dominate.
T2:  Competitive.
T2:  You can't change that basic drive, just redirect it.
Ox:  Yeah.  I never wanted to be amid-level (if that) person in the work force.
Ox:  I hate paperwork and especially detest filling out forms.
T2:  I just don't want to be in charge ...
Ox:  Likewise.
Ox:  I want a job where I don't have to fill out paperwork.
T2:  ... unless I get to run the whole thing and can order people to do all the paperwork.
Ox:  Sorry to break the bad news, but you still have to read all the paperwork everyone else fills out ...
Ox:  ... and approve all of it.
T2:  NO, I'd hire someone else to do that.
T2:  And go play golf (ugh)!
Ox:  Golf?  My Dad liked it; I didn't.
Ox:  My opinion of golf mirrors the title of one golf book:  A good walk spoiled.
T2:  Yep.  Me too.
T2:  I have no idea how to reproduce this.
T2:  Well, I have some ideas, but no idea of how to carry them out.
Ox:  Hypnosis to center attention on a few things and make all the rest unimportant?
Ox:  We need to come up with what needs to be included in the list of priorities.
Ox:  My list includes -- so far:
Ox:  Eat.
Ox:  Sleep.
Ox:  Work out.
Ox:  Smoke.
Ox:  Party.
Ox:  All the rest unimportant but the list becomes total obsession
T2:  I think someone else has to at least do the finishing touches.
T2:  Ah, you realize you'd be smoking much more if that is one of your interests.
Ox:  And what's wrong with that?
T2:  Nothing.
Ox:  I thought not.
T2:  I can do the smoking obsession thing as well; I have it.
Ox:  Good.
Ox:  I need to start watching that smoking file again to reinforce my habit some more.
T2:  Dude, this is not an obsession Jason has.  It appears to be much simpler than that.
T2:  More like:  I am hungry; I need to eat.
Ox:  His interests have been narrowed to a simple few?
T2:  Yes.
T2:  And made so that is all he has time for.
T2:  He is a party boi.
Ox:  His interests have narrowed to ....
T2:  And nothing more.  Nothing else.
Ox:  All other interests are secondary.
T2:  No, no!
T2:  They do not exist.
Ox:  Only what contributes to these interests is of interest to him.
T2:  No secondary interests.
T2:  Just a few high level priority ones.
T2:  Except for the emergency stipulation ... and that happens in hardware.
Ox:  That's wired in?
T2:  Yes.
Ox:  [light dawning]  So no provision has to be made for it!
T2:  Right!
Ox:  That makes it even easier.
T2:  You can suppress that reaction by training ...
T2:  ... but who needs to make this more complicated?
T2:  It is so simple!
Ox:  True.
Ox:  We should be able to figure this out.
Ox:  All you have are a few things that mean the world to you ...
Ox:  ... and you can't even think of anything else.
Ox:  Wonderful!  Simplicity itself!
T2:  How do y9ou avoid making a non-social robot?
T2:  I mean, if you are dumb, it would be nice if you could have friends.
Ox:  Include talking to others about interests in the priorities.
Ox:  Make sports an interest?
T2:  No, no, no.  Not sports.  That is too general and you can think too much.
T2:  Jason has no finances. 
T2:  He is a mooch.
T2:  He can barely go to work and stack boxes.
Ox:  After my grandmother had a stroke, my parents had the court declare her incompetent. 
Ox:  The court appointed them guardians.  They took over her finances so she wouldn't lose anything.
Ox:  Have Jason declared incompetent ...
Ox:  ...  and others could run his finances.
T2:  Kewl.
T2:  Jason is homeless.
Ox:  He has no place to live?
T2:  No.
Ox:  Homeless.
Ox:  How about a shelter?
T2:  But his sister lives nearby and everyone loves him ...
T2:  ... so he doesn't sleep in the street unless it is too much effort to go there.
Ox:  Does he care?
T2:  No.
T2:  Shelter has zero percent priority in his mind.
Ox:  Okay.
T2:  Shelter gets in the way of [snow/skate] boarding, ...
T2:  Being muscled, ...
T2:  Eat, sleep train, ...
T2:  Getting mindless sex ...
Ox:  Anything else?
T2:  Partying.
Ox:  Eat, sleep, train, sex, party.
Ox:  Smoking?
T2:  No.  I suppose I could probably convince him it would keep him from being fat.
Ox:  It does suppress appetite.
Ox:  Try it.
T2:  Don't worry about where you will sleep ...
T2:  ... until you need to sleep.
T2:  Don't worry about food until you are hungry.
T2:  Get it?  It's so simple....
T2:  Nothing else ....
Ox:  I need to take medication so that is a necessity.
Ox:  Maybe that could be a minor secondary thing ... or included in training.
T2:  No future.
T2:  No planning.
T2:  No money.
T2:  No worries.
Ox:  No cares, no worries.
T2:  Yep.
Ox:  Too dumb to worry.
T2:  Jason literally cannot worry; everything is in use, nothing is left to use to worry.
T2:  It's so simple.
Ox:  Yeah....   
T2:  The problem is: how do you box yourself in like that?
T2:  It's not normal; it's an artificial construct.
T2:  I don't think you can complete this noose yourself.
T2:  I think the last brick has to be put in place by someone else.
T2:  But it's just a gut feeling.
Ox:  Damn, we should be able to figure out a hypnosis program for this.
Ox:  Make a hypnosis tape of all permitted subjects you can think about.
Ox:  Make everything else off limits.
T2:  You are not getting ti.
T2:  Nothing is off limits.
Ox:  Explain.
T2:  Just this:  These priorities are all you have.  Nothing else.
T2:  Choose the following nine [or whatever number] interests.  That's it.  That's all.
Ox:  Okay, your only interests are:
Ox:  a, b, c, d, ..., i.
T2:  You got it.
T2:  You are kept so busy by these vital things that, for example, when you try to read ...
T2:   ... it sorta comes in slowly.
T2:  He can rad big words; he is just reading them one character at a time real slowly.
Ox:  Ahhhh ....
T2:  So you are stupid.
T2:  You know ... slow.
Ox:  Yeah.
T2:  Not because you are retarded but because you are all used up.
Ox:  Interesting way to do it.
T2:  Yes, brilliant.
Ox:  Truly brilliant!
T2:  And, as far as I can see, permanent.
Ox:  Irreversible?
T2:  And when you get the emergency response system kicking, guess what?
T2:  You are smart again.
Ox:  It kicks in, and when the emergency is over, it stops, and you're dumb again.
T2:  Well, if you went to jail and could not do you  interests, it might break down.
Ox:  Even in jail, you can eat, sleep, and lift weights.
Ox:  And food and shelter is supplied.
Ox:  And sex is there.
Ox:  So even in jail you'd be dumb.
T2:  Jason is a boarder; that is not supplied.  Snowboards, skateboards,....
Ox:  Oh, right....
T2:  Jason has one big problem:  he is not limited by the legality of something.
T2:  He does not notice that he is doing something illegal till the next day.
Ox:  He is so dumb ... how is he going to commit a crime?
Ox:  Run a red light?
Ox:  Forget to pay for food?
T2:  Oh, yeah.  Restaurants are too complicated for him.
T2:  Dude, he is a mooch.
Ox:  Even Mickey D's is too complicated?
T2:  Yes.
T2:  It is so amazing.
T2:  And, dude, it is not an act.
Ox:  I can deal with this.
Ox:  Damn, I want this!
Ox:  ... so bad!
T2:  No one could do this for an entire day and not slip up.
Ox:  We gotta figure out how to do this!
T2:  Yes.
T2:  It must work like compulsive disorders.
Ox:  Something like NLP [NeuroLinguistic Processing] but in reverse ...
Ox:  ... NLP is used to eliminate bad habits; this would induce them.
Ox:  You say you think it has to be put in place and/or activated by someone else?
T2:  Someone has to hammer the final nail and seal the window up.
T2:  I can't see how you could close that last window yourself.
Ox:  Yes ... like trying to tie yourself up.
T2:  I don';t even think Jason can tell me what was done.
T2:  He can tell em what it feels like.
T2:  He says when he tries to think it is like a fly buzzing and he has to swat it ...
T2: ... and he loses the thought.
Ox:  Damn, the more I hear of this the more I like it.
Ox:  Can Jason tell you who did it?
T2:  Yes.
T2:  Well ... sort of.
Ox:  Will he tell you?
T2:  Well he worked for this farmer and ended up this way.
Ox:  Damn, want to find out this farmer's name?
T2:  I know who it is.
Ox:  Who is it ... and will he do it to us?
T2:  I just have to figure out how to ask him.
Ox:  How about, "I knew Jason before he changed.  I want to be like he is now.  Can you help me?"
Ox:  "And I also have a good friend who wants the same thing.  Could you help him too, please?
 
[This is only a partial typescript of the IM.  There is much more to come....]

Ox:  How did you find all this out?

My dream may become reality: an IM that gives me hope

I had a great intriguing IM with a friend on May 21, 2010 that I'd like to share.  I am going to clean up the spelling somewhat but that's about all the changes I'm going to make.

Ox:  Hi, dude.
T2:   Hey dude
Ox:  What's new?
T2:   Oh, I actually met somebody who was helped to become stupid and muscular. 
Ox:  Really?  Who and how?
T2:  By conditioning and hypnosis.
T2:  and I think they desired it.
Ox:  What was his name?
T2.  His name is Jason.  He is conditioned so well he acts dumb.
Ox:  Wow! There's hope for me yet!
T2:  Jason is so bad that he can't even deal with IM or cell phones.  What happened to him is hot.
Ox:  Who helped him?  What programs did he use?  Where can I get them?
T2:  He thinks he is a 17 year old skateboarder.
Ox:  Neat ... *envy*
T2:  He has no idea what happened and can't explain ...
T2:  ... but he is going to try to ask the guy who did it to get hold of me ... if he remembers.
Ox:  Wonderful .. and if/when he contacts you ask him to contact me as well.
T2:  I will. 
T2:  The problem is that Jason is so unfocused that I have to keep trying to remind him.
Ox:  Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Ox:  Oh, how old is Jason?  You said he thinks he's 17.
T2:  Jason is in his 30s.
Ox:  Wonderful.
T2:  I knew the guy years ago.  It is quite a change.
Ox:  What kind of dude was he?  Smart, focused, intellectual, what?
T2:  He no longer cares about anything except his thing.
T2:  He was smart and focused and driven.
T2:  Now he is unfocused and sorta slow.
T2:  All he wants to do is eat party work out.
Ox:  Oh, wow ... *envy*
Ox:  I am getting so fucking turned on right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T2:  So yeah, I think it may be possible after all.
Ox:  Yeah ... fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T2:  I am not sure he is really stupid.
Ox:  Gods, I so want it to happen to me.
T2:  He is just so unfocused and laid back that thinking is too much work.
Ox:  Please, gods, let it happen to me!
T2:  If I find out what was done to him, I will tell you.
Ox:  Thank you.
T2:  Besides, considering how driven he was it might be nice to be nothing.
Ox:  I just want enough brain power to be able to pay bills and write checks each month ...
Ox ... and maybe balance the checkbook.
T2:  Dude, that's smarter than Jason is at this point.
T2:  He can't count too big and forget about being able to write.
Ox:  Well, I can hopefully set it up to have all the bills paid automatically.
T2:  And I saw enough to come to the conclusion that he is not fooling.
Ox:  But since I'm alone I really got to have enough smarts to pay my bills ...
Ox:  ... or arrange for someone to do it for me.
T2:  Do you really want to be that dumb?
Ox:  Actually ... FUCK, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T2:  Who would I chat with?
Ox:  I dunno ... I don't care.
T2:  That's him.
Ox:  If I'm that dumb, I won't care.
Ox:  Can he spell?
T2:  Somehow it is just too much effort to be smart.
Ox:  Or read?
Ox:  Or does he even give a shit?
T2:  Well he can't spell and [as for being able to] read ... not too well; he can't figure out road signs.
T2:  We got lost with him driving.
Ox:  Oh, fuck, I am so fucking envious and jealous that I'm hard as a rock.
Ox:  Does he know right from left?  Or care?
T2:  Don't start since I don't.
Ox:  I am so envious it is not funny ... but I am also as hard as a rock and it's not going down soon.
T2:  I am totally unsure how it was done.
Ox:  I want it done to me .... please gods ...let it happen to me.
Ox:  Does he care if he was smarter once? Is he happy now?
T2:  And he has no idea.  He does remember being smarter ...
T2:  ... but can't remember why he wanted to be.
T2:  Look, he is an eight year old in a adult body.
T2:  Life is just one big party.
T2:  And he compulsively bodybuilds.
Ox:  If I even touch myself I'm gonna shoot.
T2:  Geesh dude.
T2:  I would hate to think what would happen if you met him.
Ox:  Probably worship him and beg him to get the dude to help me.
T2:  I am sure that he is as smart as he always was, just he is totally unfocused.
Ox:  Life is a big fucking party all the time ... what's not to want?
T2:  Ah, well, dude, it gets hard when you run out of money and starve.
Ox:  Is he running out of money or starving?
T2:  Well, he is a mooch at the end of his paycheck.
T2:  And he does work ... moving boxes in a warehouse.

[other stuff]

Ox:  Gods, I can't stop thinking about Jason.
Ox:  And my hard on will not go away.
Ox:  Can you get a pic of him for me?
T2:  Ah, well, if I get to his home town and figure out where he is.
Ox:  Works for me.
Ox:  Give me a description to tide me over?
Ox:  Hair, eyes, body type, etc.?
T2a:  I guess it took a couple of years.
T2:  Geesh, dude, are you kidding?
Ox:  Fuck, no, I'm a fucking horny dude and this is not going away any time soon.
Ox:  And just thinking about him is not helping ...
Ox:  ... or rather it is helping ... a lot!
T2:  Muscled, tanned, medium body type, shaved head, hair in his chin, dyed blond ...
Ox:  As I may have mentioned, this is a fucking dream of mine ... and he made it come true.
T2:  Muscle boi surfer type.
Ox:  Oh fucking YUM!  I am fucking salivating now.
T2:  Got the beach talk down so well you cannot understand him. 
T2:  The surfer/snowboarder slang.  I guess he snowboards.

[other stuff]

Ox:  Tell me more about Jason.
T2:  I have no idea what you want to hear.
Ox:  Everything  ... before, during, after ... is he happy?  Content?
T2:  I don't think he worries about that sort of thing.  I think he just is.
Ox:  Oh, be still my beating heart!
Ox:  *lust*
Ox:  *envy*
T2:  *mental lust*
Ox:  Lust for what he is and how he became that way.
T2:  Yep.
Ox:  Doesn't worry, content, hot, and muscled ... paradise.
T2:  Well, that is not something that is a survival skill.
Ox:  Why is "muscled, hot, and sexy" not a survival skill?
T2:  Not worrying about the future.
Ox:  Living in the now is a good thing ... most things that are worried about don't come to pass.
T2:  And being gay is not something that gets passed on genetically.
Ox:  Being gay is a genetic trait -- recessive, but genetic.
T2:  Must be a very recessive trait.
T2:  Then what about being bi?
Ox:  According to Woody Allen, it doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
T2:  Hum ... I will tell you what I find out.
Ox:  I bet Jason is rarely alone on Saturday night or whenever he wants to have sex.
T2:  No, I don't think he is ever alone.
Ox:  That's what I want ... works for me.
T2:  He is a painfully dense muscleboi and everyone seems to love him.
Ox What's not to love?
Ox:  I take it he doesn't dress up much and it's mostly tight clothes to show off the muscle.
T2:  Well, he gets lost driving....
Ox:  duh ....
T2:  Geesh .. no worries.  I am jealous.
Ox:  Like I said -- I'm in *lust*

[other stuff]

Ox:  Thinking about Jason and that it is possible for me to become a dumb muscle boi ...
Ox:  ... and I am so fucking turned on by the idea
Ox:  and Jason's example proves it's possible!  Oh, fuck, yeah!
Ox:  it's called an obsession.
T2:  Hm, you have an obsession?
Ox:  Yeah, to be turned into a a dumb sexy muscle boi like you described Jason as.
T2:  Ah, you will probably not be able to read or write.
Ox:  Who gives a shit?
Ox:  I ... Don't ... Care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ox:  Literally.
Ox:  I.
Ox:  Don't
Ox:  Care!!!!!!!!!!
Ox:  I just want it to happen ... no reading, now writing, no numbers, no cares, no worries....
Ox:  ... just working out, smoking, sex, and partying
Ox:  Just as you described Jason as being .. and that's all I want my life to be:  to stupid to be unhappy.
T2:  I wish someone had done this to me at 16.
Ox:  So do I.
Ox:  Hell, it's never too late!
Ox:  That's why I'm so fucking interested in how Jason had it done and if the dude would do it to me.
Ox:  I fucking want that life!
Ox:  And I am so fucking envious that Jason did it / found someone to do it to him.
T2:  I have no idea what was done .. but I do remember that you have to start with the desire.
Ox:  I'm obsessed with this being done to me!!!!
T2:  Never.
Ox:  If it's not for you, that's okay with me.  I want it so bad I can taste it.
T2:   It would be nice....

[other stuff]

Ox:  Tell me more about Jason.
T2:  d000d gag me with a spoon.
Ox:  Rather have Jason gag me with his cock.
T2:  Ah, right, and how could I get him interested in going to your home town?
Ox:  maybe I could absorb some of what was done to him with his sperm.
T2:  He would probably get lost anyway.
Ox:  Damn, dude, I'll come to him if it would help.
T2:  No idea if he even remembers my questions.
T2:  I mean, how do you get answers out of a side of beef?
Ox:  Dude, beef is for eating.
Ox:  Dude, you could probably get an intelligent answer out of him if you asked about training.
T2:  Dude, he could not explain how to get hold of that guy that trained him.
T2:  He was all confused.
Ox:  Ask anyway.
Ox:  Please?  I beg you!
T2:  I will.
T2:  I am not exactly local; he lives fifty miles from here and has no phone.
Ox:  Dammit, I really want an answer to who helped him ...
Ox: ... and if he would help me the same way.
T2:  I am interested too, dude.
T2:  Geesh, the problem with laid back people is that that are so laid back.
Ox:  I love laid back dudes, dude

[end of transcript]

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Hypnosis files for your own use -- Part One

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Diary entry

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